Mush It Out — Do The Thing

When members of a relationship disagree, conflict can occur. This applies to both personal and professional relationships. The way we address this friction can have a tremendous impact on the relationship dynamic. Let’s start with an ounce of prevention.

Lack of or inadequate communication is one of the most common reasons for conflict. Individuals who are unsure of what is expected of them or what is going on might cause conflict. Improving communication by ensuring that all information is delivered in a clear, concise, and understandable manner will assist to eliminate confusion and tension.

Conflict avoidance can be harmful to any relationship. Ignoring uncomfortable circumstances can cause them to fester and worsen over time. Others may see this and get uneasy because of it. It is vital to resolve disputes as soon as they arise to prevent an uneasy environment from growing and hurting others.

Resolving conflict becomes easier when one has a method or framework for having the conversation. The Mush Separator is a tool for understanding and communicating your personal experience. You can utilize it to fully comprehend the motivations behind another person's behaviors or replies. This results in greater comprehension and connection, which strengthens bonds between people. This is a technique for establishing trust through dialogue, which gets to the heart of the situation.

Ever notice how your brain turns to mush when you have an incident that triggers you? This makes it difficult for you to clearly think through a situation. This tool helps us create space between stimulus and response and gives us the opportunity to choose our next action.

The model starts with sensory data—what did you hear, see, or feel that caused you to be triggered? This then creates thoughts—including opinions, judgments, and beliefs—that shape your emotions and feelings. The key to these three stages is accurate self-awareness. The capacity to see oneself as distinct from one's surroundings is known as self-awareness. It takes training and experience to be able to look at ourselves objectively because of the way our brains are wired. Accurate self-awareness is the ability to recognize yourself without getting lost in the story of the situation or our emotions. We can do that by learning more about befriending emotions.

The last two steps of the model are wants and actions. Wants are not about what you want the other person to do, but rather what you want out of the situation or for the relationship. The actions are the steps that both parties are willing to take to move the situation forward.

Using this framework as a method of talking about your emotions and experiences rather than through them creates a greater foundation for understanding and connection.