I get so emotional...
One of the interesting things I am finding about my pandemic experience is that there is nowhere to run or hide.
When I encounter difficult emotions or stress, I react out of habit, which is common to the human emotional experience. Some respond with avoidance or an addictive response to numb the feeling of the emotion. Others explode with emotion or retreat into solitude. My emotional pattern of protection is avoidance through a flurry of activity- either through overworking or busy-work.
With the current safe-at-home order in place, that option is not readily available to me. I can’t spend lots of extra time in the office since I am working at home. I can’t run mindless errands and shopping trips in order to respect those who need to be out.
Therefore I am left to sit with my emotions without any place to hide.
Thankfully I have my mindfulness and meditation practice. Through the heavy lifting I have done through Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, therapy, my yoga practice, and meditation, I have learned to hold emotion outside of myself. Basically put, it is the difference between “I am angry” vs “I am experiencing anger.”
To be clear- I am human and I slip up… frequently. However, I am so thankful to be able to lean into my emotions and experience them fully during this tumultuous time.
I have found the most help through the practice of befriending my emotions. This practice encourages me to explore my emotion in a non-judgmental, open way. It helps me look deeper into what I feel without letting that feeling consume me.
Give this a try the next time you see emotion creeping in and taking over. I would love to hear about your experience.