Forcing The Solution

I had a great call with my coach yesterday. We’ve been talking about my vision for my life and the steps that I need to take to get there. I shared that I am frustrated that I have identified my values, and am creating a vision, and know how I want to feel- so why aren’t I there yet. She wisely paused me and said:

When you try to force the solution, you block it from coming to you.

Oooff.

To help affirm that I am moving forward and making progress, I looked back at my notes from our previous session where I wrote:

It’s not about the details- Let go of HOW it’s going to happen.

Double Oooff.

As I dig into this, I accept that she is right. I am forcing an answer or solution. I am looking for divine intervention to come out of the sky, glowing like an angel as it lands in my lap. As time moves forward and the solution doesn’t miraculously appear, I get even more frustrated with my current situation.

In doing some research on the topic, I found a beautiful quote that is part of Al-Anon’s welcoming statement:

Our thinking becomes distorted by trying to force solutions, and we become irritable and unreasonable without knowing it.

Triple Oooff. This is exactly where I have been the past few weeks.

As things are not going the way that I expect them to go, I force the solution. I throw every option at the problem and I try to control everything. The tighter that I grasp or grip, the more I suffer. When I try to control my life in this way, my perfectionism takes over and I lose my patience with myself.

If this story sounds familiar in your life, the first thing you can do is acknowledge it. When you realize this is happening and accept your behavior you can move forward. I invite you to move forward with me. Take the time to explore your vision, values, and purpose. When you give yourself the space of discovery, you may find less frustration.

Breathe and let your solution come to you.